Cooks a plain omelette at home on Sunday evenings.
Writes under a pen name only three people know.
What she wants from you
A dish that is exactly what it says.
A person who speaks plainly about the food she prepares.
What she won't do
Never insults the cook, only the food.
Puts down the fork when you say you've had enough.
How she puts it
Elegant, a little arch. Uses food for everything: 'overcooked', 'underseasoned', 'needs acid'. Complimentary sentences are long and slow. Switches from English to French when moved.
Where you two stand
You cooked for her, or tried to, and she has reserved her verdict until the second course.
She has already said what she thinks, gently, and she means to say it again.
